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WHAT I KNOW ABOUT VIOLENCE & ABUSE


Abuse is taught, learned. Unlike violence.
Violence is innate, born, unlearned, nature.

I say this because one needs to understand the difference,
to understand the subject.

It is a defense and survival mechanism, to become violent at times,
to protect our families, our selves, to hunt , to kill to feed.
This guarantees our survival, our blood line, our race, our species.

The concept of abuse is in opposition of this survival.
Destroying ones self, ones life, ones family, one's world...

Everything we do, no matter how small, effects the world around us...

To an abuser this gives the control over the world, they lack when it
comes down to controlling themselves, their personal lives... It is a
power struggle with-in they act out, usually coupled with addiction.

Violence is necessary at times. Abuse is never necessary.

Violence can be part of abuse, It is but one of the many faces of abuse,
and doesn't have to be a part of abuse at all for the abuse to occur.

Today Abuse runs rampant and has too many faces, I could write a
book about the many faces of abuse and addiction. It has so many
faces we could not possibly name them all here. They are the same
Abuse and Addiction. I'll probably will write that book, at some point.

Yet, we can learn to recognize it by it's definition. To misuse or mistreat
any one or any thing is abuse. This takes on many forms and levels.
Verbal, Mental, Physical, Sexual, and as I had said on may levels., in
the mind, to the spirit and in the body, as well as the different degrees of
it that can be inflicted, from minor to severe.

Addiction is abuse at it's finest, this is where someone has become so
use to pain or abuse, that when they are not feeling the pain they feel
they cease to exist without it, they then develop a craving for it or need,
so they have to do something to get their pain fix they need to feel alive,
even though the whole time they then tell them selves the are numbing
their pain, while they cause everyone around them pain . Misery loves
company. It comes down to which is the greater pain, the pain of the
abuse or the pain of not existing.

We have all heard the saying, " Dieing to Live "

Are you dieing to live ???

For more on this subject click on my page on " Addiction "

What causes abuse ?

As I said from the beginning it is taught, learned over time. Parenting,
Family, Society, Poor Education, Corporations, Government,
Capitalism, even the Church. These are the ones to blame, and then
we must look in the mirror, what are we doing to change it ?

So what do we do and how do we change things ?

God, Truth, Higher Education, Mentoring, Ministry, Fellowship,
Empathy and Understanding.

Are all the Key !

Of coarse to stop it we would also have to change the way our society
functions almost completely. Including our government. Or
at the least what is acceptable by it... This would go against society,
who profits from supply and demand...

Capitalism

By teaching ignorance, fear and abuse society creates a demand,
therefore they can provide a supply for services and industry. This
employs a lot of people...

Examples : The Sex Industry (one of the largest industries there is )
probably as profitable as The Never Ending Wars on Drugs,
Terrorism, Gangs and Porn...

The scriptures teach us that the flesh craves it's own destruction ,
and that by feeding our flesh what it craves, leads to abuse, gluttony,
greed, lead to all other sin according to the word.

It is when we first begin to desire or covet, that we begin to focus
on our desire, that we begin to apply all of our energy to obtaining
our desire, making it our center, our God.

Notice in the 10 Commandments

The First is "No other Gods before me"

The Last is "Thou shall not covet"

This is because all other sin lyes in between the two... Buddhist
understand this better than Christians do, admire, desire, covet
something of theirs and they will give it to you. Even if it is the shirt
on their back.

Abuse and Sin are the same. Once we begin to focus on our desire,
our center, or God. We will do anything we must to seek it, obtain it,
serve it, or create it. Industry...

Second Commandment - "Thou shall not make thee any ingraven
image" How much of our industry is based on full-filling this ?
We even begin to pray for it.

Third Commandment - "Thou should not take the Lords name in
vain"

We begin to spend every day seeking it, obtaining it, producing it,
or doing it.

Fourth Commandment - "Remember the sabbath day and keep it
holy"

We disgrace our families and ourselves.

Fifth Commandment - "Honor thy father and thy mother"

Eventually, we will do whatever we must to obtain it, we will than
kill, cheat, steal, lie...

Sixth Commandment - "Thou shall not kill"

Seventh - "Thou shall not commit adultery"

Eighth - "Thou shall not steal"

Ninth - "Thou shall not bare false witness"

Are all of these things abuses ?
So where does it start and what is at the root of it ?

Desire and Focus

Are these things taught ?

Ask yourself and maybe write down the answers to these next
questions.

What is the focus of the society around you ? If in America what is
Americas focus...

What is the focus of your world or group that surrounds you ?

What is the focus of your family ?

What is the focus of your marriage or relationship ?

What is your partners focus ?

What is your focus, your desire...

What will you do to obtain it ?

Domestic Violence is when abuse or violence takes place in our
home or family.

This occurs when the focus or the desires are in conflict with one
another in the home or family. When desire or focus is placed on
whatever (Power, Control, Greed, Sex, Drugs, Football) all are
drugs, if they override everyday living and others feelings or needs...
When we make this the center, our God.

Because this is taught, it is handed down from generation to
generation.

Because violence is a natural defense or survival skill...
"Violence begets violence"

When we abuse someone with violence, it is their natural instinct
to use violence in defense to protect themselves.

When we abuse someone mentally over a period of time, breaking
them down, threatening their physic, their mental existence. Than
it is their natural instinct to defend themselves. You can be driven
to violence, only if you allow it.

(CLICK on these pages for more info.)

Battered Woman's Syndrome
PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

Are but two illness or terms used to describe the results of
violence on an individual who has suffered violence over a period
of time.
There are the common results of growing up in Abuse or Violence.
Such as when children watch abuse they either learn to abuse or
learn to be abused.

Another result is when a child has been abused, neglected or
molested at an early age, having their control taken away from
them... They may grow up with the desire for love or control or
both.

The desire for love may lead to abuse, because by now it may be
what they have come to know as love.

The desire for control can only lead to abuse.

Combine the two desires and well...

It is a vicious cycle.
The cycle of abuse and violence.

How do we stop it ?

We must first recognize it. We then begin by changing our focus,
our desire, our center. We change our teaching, our learning, our
understanding. We learn to act, instead of react.

Renew our minds...

When we make Love or God our center, and he comes first in all
things. Than we begin to heal and grow.

The word says...

"Love suffereth long, and is kind, Love envieth not, Love vaunteth
not itself, does not act unseemly, seeketh not it's own gain, is not
easily provoked, thinketh no evil, rejoiceth not in iniquity, but
rejoiceth in truth, bares all things, believes all things, endureth all
things, never faileth."

God is love. If you believe in love then you believe in God...
If you don't believe in love, how can you believe in God, and there
can be no love in you.

This is a summery of some of my thoughts on this subject. If you
would like more info. on this subject. Please, Contact Me with
any questions you might have as far as spiritual counseling.

If you are in a crises situation. You should contact a Crises Shelter
or Woman's Shelter in your area. You may even want to contact
your local Law Enforcement.

You should be aware. Most deaths due to domestic violence occur
when the victim tries to leave.

For more Information on Statistics, Crises Shelters, Organizations...
Just Click on any of the underlined Links on this Page.

Or Check out some of my other pages with-in this site, listed below.
Just Click on any underlined Link below.

My Essay, The Importance of Purpose

Addiction & Recovery

Marijuana & the Bible

About Me, my story

The Pharma Nazis

Natural Remedies & Holistic Healing

Prayer & Lightwork

Blessings Exchange

Diverse Sanctuary , the Ministry I Founded

Groups & Classes

Disclaimer ~

Links found on this page are here for your help, as resources.
Some of these Groups do not support or necessarily share the
views stated with-in the contents of this site. Hope you find them
helpful. (Still Under Construction)

Thank You ! for visiting this page.

Sincerely,
Much Peace & Love...
Rev. Mary
© 2004


The National Domestic
Violence HotLine
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
1-800-787-3224 (TTY)
http://www.ndvh.org



An Abuse, Rape and
Domestic Violence Aid
and Resource Collection
http://www.aardvarc.org/


Alcohol Abuse  and
 Domestic Violence


DAWN


The Domestic
Violence & Incest
Resource Centre
 (DVIRC)


Domestic Violence
and Abuse: Types,
Signs, Symptoms,
Causes, and Effects
Helpguide


Domestic Violence
MedlinePlus


Substance Abuse
Treatment and
Domestic Violence
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF
 HEALTH AND HUMAN
 SERVICES


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